WEEKLY WTF
09-23-24 Edition
MoonBird
Greetings fellow fans of our girl, here’s an overdue update on Maisie Mae; aka Miracle Maisie, aka Moon, aka Maisie Moon, aka Bird, aka Maisie MoonBird… Our little MoonBird with a broken wing.
What!? I fucking like nicknames…
Wednesday the 18th Maisie MoonBird was transported via ambulance to Santa Clara Valley spinal rehab clinic in San Jose. Kristen followed the ambulance and I drove our trailer home, stopping only to dump our shit tank which held a weeks worth of fermenting sewage which most certainly boiled in the over 100 degree Chico heat. Walking into the trailer while it was parked in the hotel parking lot was like crawling up a dead whales ass. *gag*
So far we are all very impressed with rehab. One of us still sleeps with Maisie each night while the other goes… somewhere, we are winging it for now.
I chose this old picture of the MoonBird for two reasons, 1. I would very much like for us (all) to envision her whole and upright and it’s probably easier for you, dear reader, than for anyone. Faced with the current situational reality it can be difficult. I have noticed that even whilst envisioning her whole and healed and upright there are sneaky thoughts lurking just below the surface of my own mind. Something discouraging a Dr. might have said, a fearful flirtation with the future, like that. But as we know all too well thoughts are just electrical events without any inherent existence. There is a fine line to be walked, a full acknowledgement of Maisie’s current condition vs the maintenance of regard and intent for a particular future outcome.
Another tightrope to be walked is to understand that although thoughts are inherently without substantiated material existence these phantom horses are what determine the terrain of our life’s course. My intent is to carefully reign in my own thought horses, both the front horses and the back ones who gallop wildly from within the subconscious. I will figure it the fuck out and try to convey it to our MoonBird.
The other reason I chose this pic is that it is representative of where we are now. Yesterday Maisie met all her various therapists and today she begins the work. The proverbial axe is poised and as you can see, it’s a fat log that lies before our girl. I have no doubt she’ll whittle that fucker into sawdust. While the pros here help her body and mind and emotional state I will be doing my best to to get my head straight so as to bend reality in order to help the MoonBird however she’ll let me. It’s another fine line, helping her to overcome her sometimes despair and doubts in a way that acknowledges her challenges and also is not super fucking annoying. Our girl has informed me many times that I talk too damn much. On the other hand I have a very captive audience
Maisie is still having blood pressure issues, but they are getting better all the time. She can now feel her entire body which is amazing. We don’t yet have motion in legs or fingers but we are at a place renowned for helping young folks with spinal injuries. She is having a lot of pain throughout her body as the brain attempts to interpret forgotten signals. Oh ya, and upon arrival they discovered that she has a UTI which causes her body to shiver. She cannot feel the pain thankfully and yet the body reacts. So strange and amazing are our meat tractors.
Nevertheless we have a lot of laughs throughout the day. We both side eye each other when some random dude from the psych ward comes in and asks her about her #1’s & #2’s and innumerable other comical things that occur in and around our little cube shaped nest. We milk the comedy out of everything we can. It’s a roller coaster of emotions still. My state is determined entirely on hers. I told Sister Fister I tied a cord directly from my heart to hers and I feel it all. In fact I feel more now than I have ever felt in my entire life. It’s amazing how one can find light in the darkness if you don’t go cold and actually let yourself feel. It’s a breathing thing, this dark beast of despair. It exhales its black fumes and the cold inky depths swallow you. But, inevitably it inhales and the air clears and you find yourself amongst the light once again. As time passes that breathing beast calms the fuck down. Mere smoky tendrils at times and the light of Maisie’s smile is sufficient to chase the misty blackness back to its terrible source. A smile I just clumsily brushed and got a few disgusted smiles about my ineptitude. I am, however getting better at Snapchat, although I get eye rolls when I snap my fingers in the air in a Z pattern every single annoying time.
Speaking of Sister Fister she’s been doing a phenomenal job helping me keep the Weekly WTF going and just did an update on Maisie’s “Road to Recovery” gofundme. The love and support from you all is absolutely astounding. I feel a debt to you all and although many of you have expressed the same notion to me, let’s just call it a perpetual collaboration shall we? A give and take because couldn’t the world use a little more reciprocal kindness for fucks sake? I will do my best to keep giving because having you out there to occasionally help out or make laugh (or scoff in disgust) is the only way I know how to help myself. If you want to follow Maisie on Insta here she is, @maisie_boland. Thanks for the continued support in all the ways. Toodles til next time
UnDiscardable
I hope it makes you feel some kinda way.
Dedicated to Miracle Maisie Mae
Toodaloo
